3 Reasons Your Kids Don’t Want Family Heirlooms

Mumford Restoration and Family Estates

Have you ever inherited a house FULL of furniture from a late loved one's estate?

You're not alone!

Many of our clients have been in the same predicament.

They want a few special pieces of heirloom furniture picked up and restored as a tribute to their parents or grandparents. 

But when Mumford Restoration arrives at the home, we find that the issue is much larger than restoring antique furniture. 

The late couple’s children are struggling with the volume of the estate. 

They are overwhelmed and stretched thin by working full time, caring for children or grandchildren, and then spending their extra time cleaning and slowly emptying their late parents' home. 

Every exhausted family says the same thing:

 “I don’t know how I’m going to get all of this donated or sold before the new buyers move in! I feel awful about getting rid of it, but I just don’t have room for it at my house. It’s not really my style, anyway.”

Why Your Kids Don’t Want Your Family Heirlooms

 It’s hard when your kids don’t love something as much as you do:

• Your great-grandma’s cedar chest
• The coffee table your mom and dad bought when they got married
• The solid wood bedroom set handed down from your great-grand parents

You told your kids they should keep them in the family after you're gone.

But then, they all made the same strange face. 

Turns out: they don’t want them. 

Why not? 

Don’t they want to have something to tie them to the family members they (and you) loved? 

There are lots of reasons kids are hesitant to accept heirloom furniture. We’ll discuss the most common reasons below. 

 And in Part 2 of this blog series, we’ll suggest some ways to reach a compromise. 

What Is a Family Heirloom?

A large part of the estates tend to be items that their parents thought of as important or valuable “heirlooms.” 

Family heirloom examples can include pocket watches, furniture, photos, Bibles, cookbooks, quilts, jewelry, and anything that is part of your family history. 

When you are planning your estate and have family heirlooms, ask yourself, “What is an heirloom?” 

The English word has medieval origins. It originally meant “a tool passed down to an heir.”

Family professions were a significant part of medieval society. That meant that an heirloom was a practical item that would make it easier for the next generation to succeed. 

An heirloom made the next generation’s life easier.

As you make plans for your belongings, keep in mind that original definition of heirloom.

Do Younger Generations Like Heirlooms?

Yes! They get attached to sentimental items, just like you do. It just has to be the right kind of item.

These younger generations are struggling with some very specific practical concerns. 

Heirlooms like big pieces of solid wood furniture, can be heavy, bulky and don’t easily fit into homes that your children or grandchildren have already furnished. 

Why can’t they MAKE room? 

There are three reasons most young people have in common: 

Reason 1: Frequent Moves and Changing Lifestyles

In the past twenty years, the job and housing market have both become more volatile.

Layoffs, lack of internal promotions, and rent spikes have become a significant issue in the past 15 years.

Young working Americans frequently relocate to take advantage of new job opportunities or lower rent.

That involves frequent packing. 

When every item in a china set has to be individually wrapped and often requires multiple boxes, it becomes another source of stress when it’s time to move.

Reason 2: Lack of Space in Modern Apartments

The cost of houses has skyrocketed since 2008. Many young people have no choice but to rent modest, one- or two-bedroom apartments.

Modern apartments’ open-plan layouts mean that there are no walls to define spaces.  This is one reason why your kids don’t want large heirloom furniture.

If the living room and dining room is one space AND is the only pathway to the laundry room, then where do you put a large, formal buffet or china cupboard? 

They also have to be careful of overwhelming the space visually. After all, you see the living room, dining room, kitchen, and laundry area all at once. 

This often makes people feel as if they are looking at wall-to-wall “stuff.”

So, younger generations compensate by focusing on clean lines and tend to avoid busy patterns and anything that contributes to “visual clutter.”  

Less is more. It has to be. Because “more” (no matter how beautiful) is just too much for modern apartment layouts.

Reason 3: The Shift Toward Simple Living and Minimalism

Modern lifestyles are very relaxed, as compared to previous eras.  

Younger generations tend not to have formal dinner parties.

There is no need for fine china and large antique china cabinets to hold it all. 

Because most people eat at a small kitchen table or even on the couch in the living room, there isn’t a demand for large, formal dining tables. 

Since dishwashers have become a must-have, younger generations don’t want to hand wash silver-plated flatware and gold-rimmed drinking glasses. 

Flat screen TVs, laptops, and even cell phones have replaced the large TVs and stereo systems that were once common in the den.

Your large entertainment center (even though it was expensive and from a good manufacturer) just won’t be useful for most younger people. 

How to Convince Your Children to Keep Your Family Heirlooms

There are still more questions to answer: 

• How do I convince my children to take our family heirlooms?
• What kind of heirlooms do children want?
• What heirlooms are in style? What IS the style????
• How do you deal with family heirlooms in small apartments?
• How do you restore and modernize heirloom furniture for future generations?

Don’t worry! Mumford Restoration never leaves a job half finished! 

In our next article, we’ll explore how you and your children can come to a compromise on your special family pieces. 

It doesn’t have to be a zero sum game. You can find middle ground that leaves everyone feeling hopeful and at ease when it comes to keeping cherished items in the family. 

Heirloom Restoration & Passing Down Family Treasures

Do you have antique furniture, art, or other cherished items that your children already want as family heirlooms? 

Mumford Restoration is the Carolinas’ most trusted name in antique restoration and furniture restoration and repair in general. 

We believe in the generational value of family antiques. 

Mumford is honored to have worked on countless beloved family heirlooms and ensured that they’d be strong and protected for decades to come.  

While many of our clients are in our home state of North Carolina, we routinely work with antique owners in Virginia, South Carolina, and across the country! 

We’ve even had international clients! 

Need to talk to an expert?  Call us at 919-510-6310 to talk with a knowledgeable restoration specialist who can guide you through your options.

Or you can submit photos using our online form and a specialist will contact you soon!