The Family Heirlooms Your Kids Will Actually Want

The Key to Success

It's normal to worry about whether your children or grandchildren will appreciate family heirlooms.

It might take some thought and discussion, but you can make heirlooms both desirable and practical for the next generation.

The last article explored why your children and grandchildren might struggle to incorporate sentimental furniture and collectables into their homes and lives. 

Often, children genuinely like the heirlooms they’re being offered, but there are practical reasons they can’t accept. 

You can find a compromise! 

After over four decades of preserving and restoring antiques and family heirlooms, Mumford Restoration has learned the key to finding middle ground. 

You have to consider three things about your children’s and grandchildren’s lives: 

• Their jobs and schedules
• Their living spaces’ needs and limitations
• Their hobbies 

With a little imagination and flexibility, you and your family can find a solution that solves the heirloom question and leaves everyone feeling warm and fuzzy. 

A Mile in Their Shoes

It sounds trite, but put yourself in your children’s shoes. 

Keep their sensibilities in mind, even if they’re a little different from your own. 

It can be frustrating to see them reject the type of life you wanted for yourself at their age.

Just remember:  they aren’t rejecting you or criticizing the life you’ve led. 

Every generation has to sing their own song. That might mean using different instruments.

Ultimately, they will have the task of deciding how new items fit into whatever space they have. 

If they don’t have room for a family heirloom, it’s just a question of space and personal style. 

It’s not a rejection of you. 

Examining Your Own Feelings

It probably hurts to think of heirlooms not staying in the family.

We feel guilty about it. A cabinet or china set spent 80 years in the family and now it’s going off to a thrift store or another family. 

Do you want them to accept something out of guilt? If they can’t find a place for it, will they just feel guiltier? 

When your children look at an heirloom in their home, it should be one they love. One that reminds them of you and your family. Do you want guilt to mingle with those memories of you? 

Parenthood is about taking on hard jobs and making difficult choices, all so your children will be safe and happy. It doesn’t stop when they grow up, does it? Think of this as part of it. 

Pass down stories, love, and memories. Send the guilt to the thrift store.

“My Kids Don’t Know What to Do with Heirlooms!”

Often a parent or grandparent will offer pass down a family heirloom to a younger family member, only to hear, “I’ve always thought it was beautiful, but I just don’t know what I’d do with it.” 

If your family likes the style or an item or part of a set, that’s a good start! 

At that point, you have to decide if you’re both looking at an item too narrowly. 

Even when an item was meant to be used one way or as a set, it doesn’t have to be used that way.

You have options.

The Eye of the Beholder

Are you defining “heirloom” too strictly?

Are you offering your kids and grandkids the right heirlooms for them? 

A family heirloom doesn’t have to be something grand or expensive. It's about sentimental value. It can even be something simple that your family thinks is pretty or just plain fun!

Your granddaughter might not feel she’ll ever have an occasion to wear your nice diamond bracelet.

But she might love wearing the “cheap” plastic costume jewelry you wore when you were the coolest, most happenin’ teenager in town back in the 60s.

It’s unimpressive to you, but it might be fun and retro to your kids or grandkids.

When they hold these pieces, they imagine you when you were their age and probably going through the same things that they're experiencing right now. These little heirlooms can cut across the years and make them feel closer to you!

So, let your family look around and choose what pieces speak to them. 

You might be surprised! And it will give you an opportunity to share stories you haven’t thought of in years!

Divide It

Does it have to be all or nothing?

What about letting your kids and grandkids choose individual pieces of sets? Split things up!

Your daughter loves to drink a cup of tea and read every night before bed.

Would she like to take *just* the  teacups and saucers from Aunt Edith’s pretty china set? 

Your grandson really needs somewhere to put his nice work shirts in his new apartment. 

He doesn’t need a vanity and bed frame, but he might be interested in taking the nice wood dresser from that solid wood heirloom bedroom suit. 

Repurpose it

You have to ask yourself "How can I make my heirloom furniture fit into my children's modern home?"

Your son and daughter-in-law aren’t much for tea parties, but they do love gardening. Maybe they could use that gorgeous silver tea pot as a vase for their spring and summer flowers? 

Your granddaughter doesn’t need crystal berry bowls for dinner parties, but they’d come in handy as trinket dishes. She can drop her keys in one when she gets home! 

People don’t wear wool clothing as much these days, so maybe they don’t need a cedar chest to protect wool sweaters and suits. But Grandma Jean’s cedar chest could be a gorgeous coffee table. And you could store your blankets in it. They’d be close by when it's time to snuggle up on the couch for movie night! 

And wouldn’t Grandpa’s old army trunk be such a cool side table?

When you repurpose something, that could mean changing its appearance.

If you have a beautiful piece of solid wood furniture, just make peace with the fact that passing it down could mean accepting that your younger family members might paint or otherwise modernize it.

There are ways to repurpose family heirlooms respectfully.

Mumford Restoration has helped many families modernize their antiques with new colors and materials.

Refinishing with modern colors can still preserve an items character while making it feel like it "fits" your child's or grandchild's home.

Donate it

It hurts to let go of heirlooms. But if you’re ready to see it go and no one in the family wants it, let it go now.

When you’re gone, your children will be heartbroken. Don’t make them also contend with the guilt of throwing away family heirlooms that they know you wanted them to take.

So, how do you find a good home for your heirlooms? 

You’ve had them for so long, it seems a shame to just dump them on the doorstep of the thrift store and speed off. 

You want to know they’ll have a purpose.

The good news is: you have more options than just a thrift shop! 

Organizations like the ones below will absolutely put your items to good use! 

Organizations for Vulnerable Populations

Many organizations help people find safe living spaces and make these new spaces feel like home.

You’d be surprised to learn how many populations need help getting settled:

• Parents and children who have escaped abusive situations
• Young adults who have aged out of the foster system and suddenly need a place to live
• Families and individuals who are transitioning out of homelessness

Call your local organizations to see if they or their residents need anything your children don’t want. 

Donating chests of drawers, coffee tables, dish sets and other household items can help these traumatized parents and children feel safe and settled again. You can help them make a new home and a new life. 

If you like, you can even include little notes in each piece of furniture and explain which relative it belonged to and why it’s special. Its new owners might enjoy knowing they’re part of a very loving chain of ownership! 

Local Theatres

Many local theatre groups and high school or college drama departments may be in need of furniture and props to dress their sets. Why not call or email them and offer pieces your children aren’t interested in?

You might see Grandma’s nice table in the next production of Blithe Spirit! 

Architectural Salvage Shops

We’ve all had quirky family members that liked to collect unusual things.

Many people somehow inherit items that are ordinarily attached to a home:

• The 1890s ceiling light Grandpa James took down from the house before he sold his old house because “those idiots won’t appreciate it!”
• The old newel post topper that Great Uncle Fred “got somewhere” and turned into a lamp
• The (formerly) built-in bookcases your mom grabbed when the neighbors were gutting their 1920s bungalow and were just going to throw them away.
• The 100-year-old door hardware your dad found at a yard sale and insisted would come in handy 
• A 10-pound bag of old Victorian-era keys (what was Grandpa planning?)

If it’s an item that would typically stay with a house when it’s sold, an architectural salvage store will often accept it. 

Architectural Salvage Stores are incredibly important to the building preservation community. They allow museums and historic home owners to replace broken or long-ago removed elements of historic buildings. 

From 1850s doors and 1910s windows to 1920s doorknobs, architectural salvage stores have what many historic homes need to be their old selves again. 

Call your local architectural salvage to ask what items they’re currently accepting. 

Local Sales

If you’re comfortable selling your items online locally, you can use Facebook Marketplace, OfferUp, Craigslist, yard sales, etc. 

For online sales and in-person pickup, you can limit pickup times to when friends or family members will be with you for added protection. 

If it’s a smaller item, many local police departments have designated “safe exchange zones” to exchange items that you’ve sold through Marketpace, Craigslist, or other online platforms.  

When it comes to yard sales, let your neighbors know! They might be interested in also having yard sales that day, which will draw more traffic in. You can advertise the yard sales on social media to get the word out. 

Mumford Restoration and Family Legacy

Whatever you choose to do with your family heirlooms and collectables, Mumford Restoration hopes that you and your family will have open, loving conversations about them. 

Heirlooms can be physically beautiful, but at their core, they’re about memories. Guard your happy memories above all else. That’s how you keep your loved ones with you forever. 

And if you decide to keep certain sentimental pieces, Mumford Restoration would be honored to help you with them. 

Mumford Restoration is a family owned and operated business.

We know how important it is to preserve and pass down family heirlooms to keep family memories and traditions alive! 

We restore a wide variety of special pieces:

• Antique Furniture
• Vintage Furniture
• Modern Furniture
• Upholstered Furniture
• Caned Chairs
• Radios
• Paintings
• Ceramics
• Lamps
• Chandeliers
• Antique Toys
• Mirrors
• And More!

Are you interested in learning more about how we can repair and restore your important items, call our specialists at  919-510-6310. They'll be happy to discuss all of your options with you!

Or you can submit your photos via our online form and our specialists will get back to you very soon!